Time passes differently for couples. Some couples feel every second in slow motion, others feel time fly faster than they thought possible. What is time with your lover to you?
Question: When you shut your eyes during the day, where does your mind wander off to?
I’m a day-dreamer. I’m the type to daydream about dancing mushrooms and singing turtles. I’ve spent years dreaming up impossible scenarios. I imagine talking to famous people and getting in heated arguments with my enemies. I’ve daydreamed about being in a different moment than I am currently in. The point is, I’m a dreamer and I dream about the impossible.
7 months ago, I started daydreaming about something that is not only possible, but well within my power to make a reality. I started daydreaming about my future with him. Do you want to see what that looks like? (Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t have read this far)
When I daydream about us, it’s kind a montage playing to “Little Wonders” by Rob Thomas (In fact, I’m listening to it on a loop right now). I imagine him with his hands over my eyes, and when he takes them off, I’m standing in our first apartment. I imagine the moment when we find our dog at the shelter…a little German shepherd puppy or a little Alaskan malamute nightmare. I imagine the moment when he gets down on his knee to officially ask me to be his forever. I imagine the moment when I brush my finger over my beautiful white dress the morning of my wedding. I imagine him crying as I walk down the aisle (if he doesn’t, I’m going to walk back out and come back in when he’s ready to be emotional about my radiance). I imagine the moment when I tell him that I’m having a little boy with his basketball talent or a little girl who can dance like me. I imagine him holding my hand while I curse him for making me deal with 9 months of discomfort. I imagine him crying when he holds our first baby in his arms (he cries a lot). I imagine him helping me change the little runt while I make breakfast. I imagine him giving me a kiss goodbye as he takes the kids to school. I imagine him making a surprise dinner for me after a hard day of work. I imagine us sending our kids off to college and learning to be enjoy being alone together again. I imagine us yelling at teenagers on our front porch. I imagine us treating our grandchildren to all the best things in the world. I imagine us looking sickly and frail together, and loving each other more than when we were young studs (eyyoo!!)
It’s easy for me to imagine all of this because, at the end of the day, he is my only constant in an extremely chaotic world.
“That one looks like a elephant,” she says, as a warm smile spreads across her beautiful face. I look back at her, my eyes locked deeply into hers, hand in hand, and respond “of course it does, goofball,” chuckling, as she punches my chest. We’re lying on a hill, late summer, near dusk, the sun setting behind the cloudy sky. The colors purple, orange and pink highlight the bottom of the clouds. Wildlife can be seen wrapping up a long summer day. A flock of cardinals glide from the tall, ancient-looking oak tree and disappear into the woods, while a coyote yipping can be heard in the distance, much to the dismay of the mother rabbit and her babies, who scurry to the bushes. We both laugh, for two reasons. First, because we are super excited to witness our first relaxing sunset together, and secondly, we enjoy watching small furry animals scamper away.
This sounds like the conclusion to a perfect day. It has replayed itself in my mind’s eye (sometimes in the most inopportune times, such as during class or even while others are talking) thousands of times. I daydream constantly. I’ve always been creative, and the most important people in my life have always encouraged me to embrace it and let it my mind run wild. Usually these fantasies are inspired by current events, lifelong hobbies or interests or, more so in the last 7 months, a special someone.
Now back to the daydream.
Dusk approaches, her lips find their way onto mine. We enjoy a beautiful kiss. Her lips are so soft and squishy, it’s pretty easy to lose track of time. I open my eyes, and the night sky is filled with millions of stars. The milky way is visible, a shooting star whizzes across the horizon. I am so happy to be here with the love of my life, all I can think about is how out of the whole universe that includes trillions of galaxies that could, for all I know, be home to slimy space creatures, this person was put in my bubble. I couldn’t be happier. Although it would be cool to see a space monster. But I am more than happy with my Olympia, she is unique as can be, and no other human or extraterrestrial life can compare to her. We fall asleep under the stars.
Keep us on my heart
Question: What do you fantasize about doing with each other?
You may not know this but, I’m a dancer….well I used to be a dancer. I haven’t done it in a while, but it’s safe to say that I was definitely born from a boombox.
I have this fantasy for us.
We’d be at one of those fancy schmancy parties. A gala, maybe…or a ball. I would be wearing a gorgeous gold dress that clung to me and flowed down to the ground at the same time. He would be wearing a tuxedo (giving every Bond man a run for his money). We would sway playfully to the music until a song came on…maybe Tesselate *hint hint.*
He would take my hand and usher me towards the centre of the dancefloor. He would pull my me firmly against his chest. And then he’d move. He would tango and waltz and salsa. His every move would emulate the beat as seamlessly as if he had the entire song flowing through his bloodstream.
He would dip me below his knee and lift me up above his head. He would spin me until I was so far from him that our fingertips barely touched and then he would spin me towards him so quickly that it felt like our hearts connected as soon as our chests collided.
He would make the dance floor ours. Not in the way that it feels like we were the only ones there, I mean it literally. The entire party would have dispersed to give us all the room we needed because this song was made for us alone to move to, no one else.
I can practically feel it. I can feel his face pulled upright against mine so that we have no choice but to breathe into each other. And then we separate. We stand 2 feet apart. Our hands up as we spin in a circle, unable to touch. A sign of modesty to those watching, a playful tease to both of us as we ache to be in each others arms. We both spin in a circle and as we face each other, he pulls my hands, spins me one last time and dips me so low that my hair barely grazes the floor.
I should be scared, but how could I not trust him?
How could I not be under his spell?
And then he picks me up with a hand so steady and a gaze so strong that I stand there breathless…paralyzed…entranced.
How could I not be utterly entranced by his beautiful blue eyes?
How could I not be head over heels in love with him?
I think what I fantasize about doing most with her is travelling. I want to come home from work one day to suitcases waiting at the front door, and tickets to somewhere amazing like the Galapagos Islands in her hand. I want to be completely surprised with it, I want to jut grab my suitcase and escape with her at a moments notice.
We’d go somewhere tropical for sure for our first trip. She wants to go to England so badly, and so do I, but the tropics is where it’s at for the first trip. Whether it’s Belize, Dominican Republic, Jamaica or somewhere else, I want to look around at the blue skies and palm trees and be greeted by something more beautiful: her.
We’d parasail, surf, relax on the beach and drink pinà coladas, without a worry in the world. Even though she doesn’t enjoy climbing things or going into isolated places, I’d hope she would go on exploration tours with me to waterfalls (even though she hates them) and other amazing things that nature has to offer.
Because there are so many things I fantasize about when it comes to Olympia, I need to add another… I’d love to see her perform live somewhere, even if it’s just at a coffee shop. She’s an amazing singer, her voice is so melodic (except for when she’s angry) and she has the ability to capture and demand your undivided attention.
Even if nothing big came out of her performing or auditioning for something, I’d just like to see her up there on stage having a blast because she smiles the biggest smile when singing and I love it.
There’s a long list of things I dream of doing with her, but travelling the world and watching her fulfill her dreams are the ones I’d love to experience some day!
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you.
Question: What keeps you from leaving each other?
We talk about forever a lot.
We’ve romanticized the concept of forever with our vampires and werewolves and demigods.
Forever is such a beautiful fantasy, but people don’t really undertand how long it is. I’m not talking about the length of it, I’m talking about the reality that every single day that you spend living on this earth might be either a waste or a success, depending on who you end it with. That’s your forever. And whether it ends in 50 years or in 20 days, it’s a long time.
That’s the thing. It’s normal to disagree with your soulmate. It’s normal to hear people doubting the foundation and future of your relationship. It’s normal to wonder what life would’ve been like if you had never met.
I’ll tell you my secret to dealing with all of it. I remember that I have a forever to look forward too. I need someone beside me when it’s all over and there is no one else in the universe that I want by my side.
I’ve known from the start that ours would be a story worth reading. His soul completes, complements, and encompasses mine. My heart sat in its cage for years, unwilling to trust even those who proved trustworthy. However, the moment he walked into my life, my heart flew out of my chest with a reckless abandon that should have left it broken and destroyed….but he caught it. He caught my heart and he has managed to take much better care of it than I was ever able to.
I’m the rib that was removed from his side.
What keeps me from leaving him?
Try walking away without your heart in your chest. I know for certain that you wouldn’t get very far.
He has my heart and he’s going to hold onto it for the rest of my ever.
Until you’ve loved someone as much as I love him, you’ll never understand that truly leaving isn’t even an option.
A lot of people, when faced with this question, say that love keeps them from leaving each other. I’ve learned that sometimes love alone isn’t enough, but love combined with the will to work together and join forces to accomplish a common goal is almost always more than enough.
Olympia and I have had amazing times and some pretty terrible times, but even through the down times we haven’t strayed from our goal: to make this work. There’s nothing more in the world that I want than to be an old man with the same woman I’ve loved since I was a young man, and I want it with her.
I don’t want to leave her, ever. Hearing her voice first thing in the morning, even if it is a tired series of strange noises, is the best start to my day. Being with her has been both the hardest and easiest thing I’ve ever done.
It’s been incredibly easy because we connect on so many levels, we have a friendship within our relationship, and we constantly laugh. Laughter is one of the keys to staying happy and positive within a relationship. We share as much as we can with each other from our day, some days more than others depending on our schedule, but the main point is keeping each other in the loop of our lives and not even having to question that we love each other.
This relationship has also been hard, but in the best way possible. It’s made me grow as a human being, sometimes when I didn’t really want to. It made maturity kick in, and helped me be able to manage more, and become a bit more aware of myself and the effects I can have on other people, whether it’s her or someone else. She’s taught me a lot about living life, and I’m so thankful for that. While incorporating many changes in my life can be challenging at times, it’s remarkable that she’s helped me embrace it because there was a time in my life where I was stagnant. Thanks to a combination of her support and high (but fair) expectations of me, I’ve grown immensely.
All of these things, the love, compassion, learning, friendship, intimacy, trust, comfort and of course her beautiful face, prevent me from leaving her. She’s special, the most special person I’ve come across in this crazy world, so I keep her close because I’m the luckiest man alive. One year later, I can easily say that becoming her boyfriend was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life so far, and it’s been an amazing year. She’s not going anywhere and I plan on many more blog posts professing my love.
Steal my t-shirt. Wreck my bed. Even if you don’t, say you do.
What are the things he or she would only ever do for you?
Where to begin?
I guess my blanket answer is: everything.
He’s the only person on earth who would do everything for me. And I am the only person who he would do everything for.
Some girls have high expectations of their boy/girlfriends, but I take it up about 1000 notches higher. I have the strangest and most outrageous demands, yet somehow he has met up to every single one of them.
One big thing he does is just being my boyfriend. When I was a little girl, I had a checklist (the kind every little girl had) of all the characteristics that would make up the ideal boyfriend. Would you believe me if I told you that he checks off every single box on my list? Well I don’t really care if you do, it’s true. That’s the one of the biggest things he’s done. He is the only boy who could ever be exactly what I wanted and needed.
What else has he done?
He has listened to me go on for hours and hours about nothing. He has somehow adapted to the pure sarcasm and condescension that escapes from my very being. He has carried me when my feet hurt too much to walk. He has tied my shoelaces so I never have to when he’s there. He’s eaten all of his worst meals just for my amusement. He has held my hand every single day so that I never feel alone when I am with him. He has played with my hair until I fell asleep. He has cooked for me and attempted to fatten me up like a Thanksgiving turkey. He has jumped straight into the mouth of some of his worst fears because I asked him to. He has stayed up late for several months to watch all of my favorite shows and movies with me. He has been my biggest fan from the beginning. He has been my rock and my mirror. You wanna know the biggest thing he’s done specifically for me?
He’s promised me the rest of his forever.
It’s not a one way street though…
I’ve promised him mine too.
Oh there are so many things Olympia would only do for me, and each one makes me feel so special. I’ll start with the most hilarious and tedious one: she plucks my random hairs.
Every time she comes to my place, along with excitement I also feel conflicted because at some point, I know she is going to take my tweezers and go to work on my face. I love the outcome, which is a smooth hairless face, but I hate the process. She insists on getting every last hair that is somewhere it doesn’t belong (I have a really fuzzy face, I’m not sure why I was cursed with this but at least I would survive a blizzard while you all freeze). I writhe and yell out in pain, I curse and utter horrible things but I come out more handsome on the other side, and I think she feels satisfaction from doing it so I let her. The things I would go through for this girl, I tell you.
She also gives me private concerts. She loves to sing, and she’s amazing at it too. Every once in a while, she’ll sit me down and ask me to pick a song for her to learn, and she’ll put the time in to hit every last note and put her own twist on it. She’s sung Beyoncé, Rihanna, Whitney Houston, Sam Smith and so many others for me, and I can’t get enough. The odd time I’ll sing for her but I’m not as gifted in the vocal department as Olympia.
The last one I’ll talk about is making creative videos of us. She has to be the best videographer/moviemaker I’ve ever seen! Music, special effects, timing, you name it and she’s mastered it. Everyone always tells her she should make a youtube channel and she’s finally starting! When it comes to videos of us, she’ll make a mashup of cute videos of us playing arcade games or exploring the city, along with pictures and a song that relates to both of us, and they never cease to make me smile. She even made a basketball video for me with all of my dunking highlights, she just has a knack for these things. I know one day she’ll be making a living doing something to do with entertainment, because it makes her happier than anything!
These are just three things that she does that she’d only do for me, and there are so many more, but these are three of my favourites. She’s supportive, she knows what I thrive off of, and she just wants to see me happy. Olly would stop at nothing to see me happy, and that’s something about her I’ll always love.
“Yesterday does not define you. I can break the chains that bind you.
Question: When was a time that he believed in you when no one else would?
That’s my answer.
Right now he’s believing in me when other people won’t.
All my life, I’ve heard people say that doors will always open for me if I try hard enough at whatever I do. I also heard that if no door opens, I can always break through a window.
That’s the kind of thing you hear a lot when you’re a kid. It’s the kind of thing that makes you believe in everything. Well, I learned at a very young age that, despite all of the open doors and windows around me, I was being shoved through one door. I lost the right to choose my path. My path was chosen for me and I didn’t fight it, much as I wanted to.
So many years have passed me by and for the first time in my life, someone is telling me that there’s a tiny window that I can shimmy through. There’s a tiny window that will fill the void that’s consuming my chest. There’s a tiny window between me and my true passions.
He is the love of my life. He is my everything and my always. He is my mirror and my rock. He’s lifting me up so I can climb through. It’s hurting his shoulders, but he’s holding me up high so that one day, when I’m good and ready, I’ll be able to climb through my little window.
I would never have known that this window existed if he hadn’t shown it to me. That’s the thing about having a soulmate. They are your eyes when you can’t see the world clearly.
So I’m going to do it.
By George, I’m going to chase my dreams.
He’s going to help me.
I’m terrified…but I have to climb though that window.
There’s been a lot of times in my life where I have felt completely alone. I probably wasn’t, but sometimes it can be hard for me to reach out to people when I need someone to have faith in me so I’ve become accustomed to having faith in myself. It’s not always enough though; the support of someone close to you can give you that extra push to do what’s best, and she has been that person for me.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s been times where we have both been brutally honest with each other about things, and in those times it can be easy to feel alone and hurt but we have always believed in each other even if we didn’t agree whole-heartedly with what we were doing.
When Olympia and I first met, I wasn’t in school. I had been out for about a year and a half and I was procrastinating on going back. More than anything I felt stuck in a rut, trapped in my life that consisted of minimum-wage pay and feeling too tired to do anything to better myself. I was fit, but not as fit as I used to be, and I had been freshly hurt. A combination of all of these things had me feeling down, but all I knew was to get up, go to work, come home, sleep, and repeat.
I knew that I had to amount to more than this. Throughout high school I knew I wasn’t one of those kids that would just graduate and not go any further. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I am meant to do more. She could see that I was squandering my potential in almost every aspect of my life, and instead of running like most people would, she wanted to help me do a few things.
She wanted me to first see that this life wasn’t meant for me. She wanted me to want to take control and do what I needed to do to get my education and self-love back on track. We would talk late into the night on the phone, about all the things I wanted to be better at. She never once told me that I needed to do these things, and she never told me she wouldn’t be here if I didn’t do these things quickly. For once, someone had gotten through to me and made me break free from the trap that my life had become.
All the pointless wasting of money and doing things that weren’t going to benefit me and working 50 hours at a place that didn’t care for my plan seemed ludicrous all of a sudden. Initially I was a little upset with myself, but I realized that I had someone that cared for me more than I knew. One day she told me that we were going downtown to my campus and figure out my school situation. Just like that, my education at the school that I thought was too prestigious for me was a reality again, and I felt like I could do it.
After I left school, I felt like people wrote me off. Some people would talk to me and make jokes like all I did in life was slack off. My parents acted like I didn’t care for my future. People in general thought that I would be stuck in a retail job for life. I actually even lost people who were important to me at the time because they thought that I wasn’t going anywhere. Olympia believed in me from the beginning. When others thought I was stupid, she was telling me that I was one of the smartest people she had ever met.
She believed in me when no one else would. When everyone wrote me off, she stood by my side and demanded that I want the life I deserve. Her dedication brought me to so many new levels, I feel so much better, mentally, physically, and emotionally since I got back into school and I attribute that to the one person who stuck by me when the sky was falling.
I believe in this young woman more than anything, and I know that because of the great person she is, she will do amazing things and I’ll have court-side seats for the show. I’ll spend the rest of my life thanking her for everything she’s done for me. I thought I had love before, but until she helped me realize my true potential, I had never felt true love like I do today. I truly believe she’ll always be here to guide me when I’m lost, and that’s invaluable to me.
Baby girl, take time
What was your first date like?
Oh my word, where do I begin? Have you ever held your breath for a really long time? I’m not talking like 10 seconds, I mean like a solid minute or two. That exaggerated exhale and sharp intake of air that happens, that’s what our first date was like.
To most people, a month isn’t really a long time to wait for something. Well, those people have never met him. After one conversation with him, everything got really confusing. How had I spent my life before him without him? It was like no one had ever heard the words coming out of my mouth until he showed up..When you feel that way about someone, waiting a month to go on a date is an aggressive torturing device.
But I waited. I had to. I had finals at the end of the month and I couldn’t get distracted. I thought he’d get bored and leave. Why on earth should any guy have to wait for a date with me? I’m really not that special. Just kidding, I’m amazing #StayHumble.
He waited though. And on the day of my last final, he was waiting of me. I saw him walking towards me, but before he saw me, I sprinted into the nearest building. Any females reading this should understand. I had just walked out of a final, my pores were emitting stress. I had to run to the bathroom to get my life together…as much as I could.
After my little prep session, I walked up behind him and surprised him. I remember exactly how he looked at me. It was like he’d spent 50 years stuck on an island eating nothing but coconuts, and for the first time, he was standing in front of a piping hot plate of steak and scallops. He should’ve kissed me right away, but he did something better, he wrapped me in a hug. He didn’t know at the time, but what he did in that moment was inform me and assure me that there was nowhere else I would be safer in this world. And then, he kissed me and I let the universe spin for a while because for the first time in forever, I didn’t feel alone.
I would love nothing more than to tell you exactly what we did on our first date, but trust me, the boy I love is going to take care of that. I just had to let you know what the first moment of our first date felt like.
I had to let you know that he jumped and I jumped right alongside him.
I had to let you know that the rest of it was only possible because our first moments together allowed them to be so.
I had to let you know that I knew from the start that he was the one for me.
And I had to let you know that after our first date, I realized something.
I realized that when you love someone as much as I love him, the only thing left to do is marry him.
I felt so rushed on every other date I’ve had. Like I had someone to impress (in theory I guess you do want to impress them), but why should I be trying to impress someone I already think is cool? If they are as cool and amazing as I perceived them to be, they’d probably accept me as a person, thus stressing about impressing them shouldn’t be happening.
Not one minute of my first date with Olympia was spent wondering if I was good enough or presenting myself well. I was myself. I did and said what I wanted, and I knew that she was doing the same because for the first time in months, I had felt like I was actually hitting it off with someone. Even stronger than I had in the past, which was great to feel.
Our first date was absolutely, insanely brilliant. I had commuted to her campus, which I had never been to before that day or even really acknowledged existed. I was lost and confused (okay I’m being a little dramatic but just deal with it) in this strange place, where wild deer run around and there’s actual trees on campus (my campus is lodged in the middle of metro Toronto so this was odd but refreshing). I sat on this boulder waiting for her, by the bus stop, because that was the only landmark I had successfully remembered the location of. Then I saw her.
She was wearing this red thing (which I had only learned 24 hours before was called a “romper”) that was so beautiful against the complexion of her skin. She had a matching red bow in her hair, and she was strutting like she was on top of the world (well obviously she was, she was going on a date with me). I wanted to kiss her right away. How cool would that have been if our lips were the first thing that had ever touched? But I didn’t, I hugged her like I had been missing her for years, even though this was the first time she had crossed my sight in person. The kiss followed, and it was soft, passionate, not too lengthy (we were at a bus stop, not exactly an ideal kissing habitat), but just long enough that I could map out her beautiful lips by feel.
I clasped her hand in mine, and we walked off to my private campus tour with my new tour guide/special person. She took me to a spot upstairs on the third floor of one of the buildings, her favourite spot because it’s quiet. This is where she gave me a letter, which included a double pop-culture reference to the Titanic and Gilmore Girls, asking me to jump with her into what is now such a big part of my life.
Then we jumped into some tequila shots. Don’t ask me why I thought taking shots on a first date at 3:00pm was a good idea, but I thought it was brilliant. We got on a bus and headed over to a big mall, and looked through our favourite stores, got pina colada smoothies, and went to go see… dun dun dun… THE JUNGLE BOOK in Ultra AVX! It was amazing, it was hard for me to pay attention to the movie because of the human next to me, but she kept me focused and we enjoyed it so much!
We took pictures in a photo booth (which I still have to this day), and we played around on arcade machines without actually paying for them. We were having a blast, and more importantly I could see how happy we were making each other. Finally, we went to Chapters, where we explored aisles of books and searched for one of her favourites. We couldn’t find the book, but we had a really fun time in the religious aisle, isn’t that right babe? Who knew that this girl would have me interested in biblical history.
8 hours later, and I was on a bus headed home, thinking about how I had one of the best days of my life.
I’m going to just summarize it with one statement: It was exactly what I needed, at exactly the right time, with exactly the right person, and I’ll always need it.
There’s something in the way you move ~ Ellie Goulding
How does it feel watching him do something he’s passionate about?
Some people don’t like a lot of things, and I think that makes it easy to pinpoint their passions. He’s a bit different though, he likes so so so many things that it’s nearly impossible to find the one thing that sparks that fire in him…the fire that cannot be put out by anyone or anything.
Two words…one word? Yeah it’s two words put together to form one word. Basketball. You know, the one with the ball and the basket and jumping and the throwing and the passing and the falling and the mascots? Yup that’s the extent of my knowledge of basketball.
That doesn’t matter though, because despite my indifference to it, and every other sport in the world, he makes it worth the energy.
Now I’ve never actually watching him play a game with people, but that still couldn’t hide his love for the sport. I don’t mean he loves it like he watches a basketball game every time there’s one on TV; or he spends endless hours talking about Kobe Bryant; or he only wears basketball shoes thereby making him a “baller” (yuck I don’t think I’ve ever used that word, and I must say, it did not feel natural).
When I say he’s passionate about basketball, I mean it transports him into a universe far out of my reach. I watch his videos after his games and, honestly, they leave me gobsmacked (yet another weird word, like who came up with it? What does it mean…literally? Someone smacked a gob in your mouth? What is a gob? Is it weird that I picture a jawbreaker? If it is a jawbreaker, then can it actually be smacked into your mouth without causing pain? Oh maybe your mouth is the gob? Mouths are weird. Now I wonder if animals can move their mouths in weird ways. Animals. Tigers. Giraffes. Rhinos. Hippopotamoose? Hippopotamus. Monkey monkey underpants. Thank you Lorelai Gilmore)
I just let you into my train of thought, you’re welcome.
My point is, he’s beautiful when he plays. He flies through the air in effortless leaps. When I watch him, I can tell that he was always supposed to do this. I don’t care what he says about the sport. He could talk about it for hours and all brain would be doing is jumping on the monkey monkey underpants train.
I snap into focus when I analyze his videos. It’s like he has no idea how good he is. He competes with himself every single day. It doesn’t matter who he’s playing with or against, the only person he needs to beat is himself. His determination and his strive to be the best player possible and push his limits farther than anyone could’ve imagined, all that is exactly why I trust him with my life.
I’ve seen what he’s like with a sport he’s passionate about, so I can’t even begin to imagine how gracefully he’s going to fly into our forever with me in his arms.
I believe that if you truly love someone, you’ll encourage them to do the things they are passionate about, the things that make them happy and glow brighter than anything else. For Olympia, singing, dancing, writing and reading are her biggest passions.
While it’s difficult to watch someone write or read, watching someone dance or sing is watching someone at one of they’re most expressive forms. She loves to sing such a wide variety of music, from Sam Smith to The Chainsmokers, Whitney Houston or Adele, she can do it all and it’s amazing to watch her smile and lose herself, all while belting out some harmonic vocals.
She’s also quite the dancer, which is ironic because I can’t dance for my life. She’s tried to teach me countless times but it just doesn’t ever work, we still have a lot of fun doing it though. On our first date, she actually took me to the dance studio at her school and we danced to “Work” by Rihanna. She knew I loved that song and she made it happen, it was mostly her moving though and me awkwardly standing, enjoying what I was seeing.
Both of these things are hobbies she has had for a long, long time. Here in Canada, some people sing and dance and we look at them as artistic people and we ogle at them, wondering why we can’t do these things. In Nigeria, where Olympia grew up though, everyone dances and sings, and they would have parties and performances at her school where she would perform. She loves telling me about those times, and after seeing her immerse herself into her dancing and singing, it’s easy to see why she was chosen to perform.
She loses herself in her craft. When singing, it’s almost like she reaches deep within her soul and expels this amazing sound you just can’t recreate. She wants to audition for X-Factor some day, and I would love nothing more than to watch her. When she’s dancing, she does things I wasn’t aware that the human body could do, partially because I can’t move like that but also because it’s extremely difficult and she’s talented.
Watching your loved one do something that drives them is special, and I think everyone should push for your love to do these things, because you should want to see them at their happiest. It saddens me when I see people who have stopped doing their hobbies because they don’t have time, or someone else frowns upon it. I believe that in order to be happy, you need to find something that you lose yourself in, even if you’re not good at it (it helps if you are though), and just escape the world for a bit.
So, when I watch Olympia dancing and singing, I know she’s in her happy place, and I feel happy, proud, warm inside, and a million other great things. Keep doing what you love Olly.
I’m hungry for you, my love.
Question: What does missing each other mean?
Have you ever lost something important to you? Of course you have. I’m certain that at one point in your life, you lost your favorite toy…maybe for a few minutes or possibly forever. So, you’re aware of the feeling. That feeling of complete helplessness. That knowledge that the object of your affection and attention is somewhere without you.
You might have been selfish in that moment. You might have thought that your toy must have been so lonely without you. It must have hated the cold air surrounding it instead of the warmth of your hands. It must have been beyond miserable without you.
Or maybe you were a bit more mature about it. Maybe you were actually able to admit to yourself that your heart hurt a little bit because you didn’t have it with you. Maybe you admitted that your hand felt odd and lonely without it sitting comfortably there. Maybe you were devasted wondering where it was and if it was making new toy friends…slowly forgetting about you.
Answer me this though, didn’t that feeling eventually go away? We both know it did. You probably found your toy hiding under your bed covered in dust bunnies and vowed to never let it out of your sight ever again; or maybe you found a new toy to make your favourite, or, better yet, you outgrew it and found other things to focus on. The point is, you moved on.
I don’t know what that’s like. That feeling that accompanies losing a toy? Multiply it by 5 billion. That’s what I feel when he’s not next to me. My heart can’t function at its best, my brain can’t formulate regular thought patterns. My hand feels like one half of….something that can be split in half (I can’t be bothered to think of all the things that can be cut in half).
Rip one entire side of your body off and try walking on one leg and using one arm and eating with half a mouth. Tough, isn’t it? How would you know? You didn’t actually do it! I’m just making a point. He’s the other half of me and every second that I’m not with him rips me to shreds.
Missing her can be one of the hardest things about our relationship. A lot of people get lonely, or lead lonely lives where they live alone or don’t get much human interaction. That isn’t why I miss her. I could live every day of my life alone if I hadn’t met her, but she is the one person I need to have around when possible.
Missing her feels like an extension of me has been ripped off. I know it sounds crazy, especially since we see each other pretty often (usually once a week) despite the distance, but she genuinely brings a positive energy to my life. Nothing makes me happier than the look of pure joy on her face when she finds the small things in life so exciting. Her enthusiasm drives me, I feed off of it as much as I can but I will never be as exciting as her.
Every man who is in love fears losing his woman. I’m no different. I worry sometimes, and the thought of how much I would miss her if I actually lost her paralyzes me. I’m extremely blessed to even have the opportunity to miss her, and she is the first girl I’ve ever felt like I’m truly in this. I’ll never not miss her, whether we’re fighting, whether we’re happy, or whether I’ve just dropped her off at the train station.
Missing her just confirms to me that I care as much as I do. It saddens me when I talk to some people who are in relationships who don’t miss their significant other. How could you not long for the one you say you love? They often counter with the old “Oh they just live 10 minutes away,” and for a second I become a little jealous. How easy things must be when your girl is just a short walk or bus away. Then I remember how happy I get after the long treks across the lakeshore, after the early mornings walking to the GO station to save money, because at the end of the journey is the most beautiful young woman I’ve laid eyes on.
Short distance can be a curse, I find. Some of the strongest couples I know are separated by seas or borders, finishing school elsewhere. And while many would put their love on hold, they chose to fight for it. I think Olympia and I pride ourselves on making the best of our distance (It’s nothing crazy but it’s not next door). As much as we’d love to see each other every day, we make the best of our situation by skyping almost every night, waking each other up over the phone in the morning, and checking in on breaks and just whenever we miss each other’s voices.
One day we’ll be living together and we won’t have to deal with the challenges of being a little far apart. What matters to me now is keeping our hearts and souls close. Given all the ups and downs we’ve had, I think we’ve done an amazing job, and to this day there’s no one else I’d rather go to war for in the universe.
Who knows, even when we live together I may miss her sometimes. Those trips to the fridge can be isolating and painful. Till then, I like to think my missing her is just a factor that makes me so fond of her. When I see her in 6 days, I’ll get to put it aside for a day and just feel the love.
This is what we do to get by. We’re always chasing our paradise.
Question: What made you decide to chase paradise with each other?
These days “paradise” is so subjective. Some people see rainbows, others see beaches, and a few might see mountains or the edge of the world as depicted by a horizon.
I’m Christian, so my paradise is Heaven. I’ve been searching for it all my life, but now, being with my soulmate, it’s different. I don’t just want it for me, I want it for both of us.
Every time I close my eyes, I picture him there right beside me doing the things that are second nature to him. Things like: telling me that he’ll never leave my side; asking me if I still love him every couple minutes (like I’m going to spontaneously change my mind about him); he never stands beside me without holding my hand in his. To strangers, it’s just a couple thing. We know better. Lacing our fingers together, keeps us attached. It’s more natural than breathing. No discomfort. No sweaty palms. No aching wrists. Just fingers that have yearned for each other for way too long.
I can’t tell you why or how I chose him. It’s not a secret ot anything, I really don’t have the answer. One day, I shut my eyes and there he was. Now I can’t imagine anything else being behind my closed lids.
Honestly, I don’t know exactly what paradise is going to look like, but I don’t care. I mean, just take a look at the beautiful man I get to bring along with me.
It’s so simple. He’s lacing his fingers through mine and we’re walking into paradise together…come hell or high water.
Paradise to me isn’t a world where everything is perfect. An existence in which everything remained as flawless as the beginning of a relationship would lead to us being stagnant and that’s the last thing I’d ever want. So before I go into why I chase paradise with her, I must first discuss what paradise is to me.
When I was younger and in less mature relationships, I always wanted this utopian state of being, one where I never felt any change or unrest. One where I could always get exactly what I wanted, when I wanted. As I matured, and people left and entered my life, I learned that embracing people in their purest form, although it can be extremely difficult at times, is often the most satisfying way to go about interacting with people who we are fond of.
Paradise to me is a life where my love is comfortable being herself, and where she is comfortable dealing with me as a whole package: the good, bad and ugly. Believe it or not, I’ve never had that with anyone and the idea of working towards it makes me nervous in the best way. Someday I’ll have achieved it, with Olympia, the only woman in my life who has ever taken the time and effort to really get to know me on every single level of my being.
Like any other couple we go through phases. We go through periods of time where we might be forgetful of things that make the other happy, or where we get caught up in the problems in our own lives and become a little distracted. The goal, at the end of the day, without being spoken is always to end up together in our place in the future.
Why her? Out of all the women in the world who I’ve met, why is she the one I chose to embark on this journey towards paradise with? It’s really quite simple… She glows with enthusiasm that is unmatched by anyone I’ve ever encountered. Even when she’s down, she still glimmers softly, and there isn’t anyone else in the world who I would work with towards an end goal of togetherness.
You can’t achieve paradise with someone overnight, it’s an everlasting process that can’t be measured by anyone but yourself. I know that on the road I’ve been on for the last 9 months, with the beautiful girl I’ve been accompanied by, paradise is feeling more than within reach.
What’s another perfect day for you?
The fact that there haven’t been any posts is completely my fault. If you ask him, he’ll confirm that I am the world’s biggest procrastinator. OK so, to answer the question, a perfect day would be with him (duh). This time it’s something I know he’d love.
He would meet me at the train station, as he usually does. Then, we’d go to the park…not the open space where people play with their dogs and have picnics, we’d wander into the woods. He would try to climb on all the trees (because in his head, he’s some kind of backwards Tarzan…a Nazrat, if you will. Haha, I made a funny!)
Anyway, I would take pictures of him because, as far as I’m concerned, I have the most attractive boyfriend in the world. We would find a little bridge with a quiet stream running under it. I would sit on the railing and he would stand in front of me, keeping me steady. Protecting me. We would talk about everything in the world, and then he would suggest that we walk through the stream. Then, much to his surprise, I would say yes and we’d wade through it, admiring all the tiny fish swimming along in that Dory-like way that they do.
Then we would go home and watch a movie in bed. We’d get one of our random surges of extreme hunger and order some Jamaican food to appease our demanding appetites. Then we’d lay back in the dark, listening to music, and then he would sing to me like he used to when we first started dating. I would shut my eyes and drift off in the arms of the boy I love more than anything in the world.
So, yeah, I guess my perfect day is a day when my soulmate is as happy as I can make him.
Another perfect day for me would take place in a safari jeep, deep in the Savannahs of Zimbabwe or Kenya. I love wildlife of all types but I especially have huge interest in African safari animals like lions, elephants, zebras and leopards!
Who better to spend this safari trip with than my girlfriend. We’d be camping out in the savannah with safari guides, in canvas tents with a big fire blazing along the camp perimeter to keep the animals away. We would rise early with the sun and watch it ascend above the vast horizon, waking up the antelopes and wildebeest. Then we would get ready for the day, packing all the essentials like water, food, light clothes and one of those cool safari bucket hats, and off we’d go, departing from camp in the rickety old jeep, searching for cheetahs and elephants.
After finding a water hole and taking lots of pictures of the animals, we’d have a tasty lunch. Given that we are in the middle of nowhere, it would probably be simple food but if I could have it my way I would be eating a shawarma from Osmow’s. So would Olympia because she’s an absolute fiend for Osmow’s. After lunch, we would drive many miles further into the savannah, searching for anything interesting we could find. We see vultures circling the sky in the distance and decide to check it out.
A pride of lions has hunted a zebra, and are now taking turns feeding. While it’s gruesome and kind of sad, it’s nature at it’s purest form, raw survival at it’s finest. The little lion cubs play by the side, waiting for their turn to eat. As our jeep approaches, the lions casually look up, but return to eating their hard-earned meal. After some time with the lions, we head back to the camp because the sun is setting.
We start a huge bonfire, and lie down looking at the stars, while the guides tell us stories about the tribes that used to and still do roam the savannahs, and animal creation stories. I couldn’t be happier, one of my childhood goals would be completed and it would happen alongside my favourite human in the world.
What were you like before you met each other?
I was a hopeful romantic…I mean I was an idiot who wanted nothing more than to believe in the concept of love. There wasn’t a romantic movie I hadn’t watched. Seriously, everything from watching Scott Thomas travel across Europe for a mystery girl, to Elle Woods going to law school to win Warner’s love back. I had read every book. I went on every voyage with Odysseus until he returned to his wife. I danced through Baltimore with Tracy Turnblad all the way into Link Larkin’s heart. Of course you know that I listened to every song, from Whitney’s ballads to Ron Pope’s soft musings.
It was all fair game and I had become an expert at it. I had done all the research and I was waiting patiently for my first true experience. You know what waiting does, right? It builds anxiety. I became desperate for anything, I settled for everything. I had convinced myself that whatever I thought love was, whatever these movies and books and songs had told me about love, none of that could be true. It was all to good to be my reality. I dated a high number of mediocre people. Mediocre, not due to their personalities, but due to my exceptionally high expectations. I had done too much research. My heart had become used to the feeling…that hollow feeling of not being in love.
Eventually, I truly did hit rock bottom. I found myself with someone who I could barely be in the same room as, much less have any sort of conversation with. I told myself that he wasn’t the worst I could do, but let me be the first to admit that he was, without a doubt, the worst of the worst that I could have done.
I needed to know him though. Every time I think about this, I imagine the Hercules movie. You know, the cartoon one, not the new age Dwayne Johnson one that I have refused to watch simply based on principle. I digress. I think of Hercules, specifically, the scene where the Furies are holding the mortal’s thread of life and cackling over the fact that they have the power to do whatever they please. Well, I imagine them looking down at my love life and laughing as they threw me into the lowest position possible to see if my natural instincts would kick in. My two options: Fight or Flight. Well, I picked the hidden option. I jumped…and then I flew.
I flew right into the waiting arms of my first love. My only love. The love of my life.
So now I dare you to tell me that Elle Woods taught me nothing, or that Odysseus’ journey wasn’t worth it, or that Ron Pope has no idea what he’s talking about. I double dare you.
My research was worth it.
Before I met Olympia, I was a lost soul. Not that I’ve completely found my way since she’s entered my life, but her presence has helped a lot. I didn’t have anyone to express how I felt like I do with her, my mind had a padlock on it and it took a lot of effort to break it off. No one but her could have done it though, she has this way of resonating everything she says deep into my brain.
Before I met Olympia, I was stubborn, I wanted instant gratification, and I was selfish in many ways. That’s a big thing for me to admit because I like to pride myself on giving and helping those who need it, especially the ones I love. However, there are times where my anger or jealousy floods my mind, and I find myself acting selfishly.
After meeting Olympia, and to this day I still have some of these bad habits, but at least I’m trying to fix these things now. Sometimes I make progress and it’s noticeable and it brings a smile to both of our faces. On the contrary, sometimes I slip up and I act selfishly, or live in the moment or past without thinking of future consequences. While we may argue and be upset about slip ups, she knows I will always do my best to control my flaws.
She knows I’m trying constantly to put more trust in her, be more selfless and think about the long run, rather than today. I know trust issues are a running cliché in today’s generation, but I’ve struggled with them a lot. I’ve been hurt deeply a few times, and I guess my main goal is not to categorize Olympia into the group of people who’ve broken my heart. It wouldn’t be fair to group her with them, because while we have our disagreements, she’s never broken my trust, she’s never given me a real reason to feel betrayed.
Moving forward, I just want to put my faith and trust in her hands, 100%. It’s an extremely hard thing to do and I’ve never done it without being shattered, but Olympia is different. She was there when I needed her to listen, before our relationship took that jump to the next level. I’m not trying to give her my trust and dedication out of obligation. I’m giving it to her because she is the one that it belongs to, plain and simple. Too many times she should have left me in the dust, but she stayed. Too many times I’ve thought to myself “Oh now you’ve done it, you lost her this time,” only to find her still here, loving me stronger than ever when the sun rises the next day.
She’s doing everything that other people couldn’t. So before I met Olympia, I was lost. I had many bad habits. I was and still am a good person, but I was troubled and things just weren’t falling into place in my life. After I found her, I also found the will to love again, I found the motivation I needed to better myself, no matter how long and tedious the journey may be. I found the courage to place trust in her, something I never thought I’d be capable again after leaving myself vulnerable far too many times. She proves herself different from the others time after time, whenever my world is clouded with pain or fear, she comes through.
Olympia hasn’t changed me. She’s inspired me to look at myself and decide that I deserve to feel better, and to use the tools that I’ve always had to achieve a state of happiness and completeness that I haven’t reached yet.
I didn’t know at the time, but when I met her, my life was going to drastically change. All I can hope for is that I can keep up the positive change she’s initiated, through the rough times and remain the man she sees as strong and worth all the trouble. For the first time in my life, I believe that someone will be by my side till the end. Every possible emotion runs through my head when I think about that. Having something amazing will always come with the fear of losing it, but when that fear sneaks its way into my conscience, I replace it with an image in my mind’s eye, of her wrinkled hand in mine, 50 years in the future, and I relax.