Question: When you shut your eyes during the day, where does your mind wander off to?
I’m a day-dreamer. I’m the type to daydream about dancing mushrooms and singing turtles. I’ve spent years dreaming up impossible scenarios. I imagine talking to famous people and getting in heated arguments with my enemies. I’ve daydreamed about being in a different moment than I am currently in. The point is, I’m a dreamer and I dream about the impossible.
7 months ago, I started daydreaming about something that is not only possible, but well within my power to make a reality. I started daydreaming about my future with him. Do you want to see what that looks like? (Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t have read this far)
When I daydream about us, it’s kind a montage playing to “Little Wonders” by Rob Thomas (In fact, I’m listening to it on a loop right now). I imagine him with his hands over my eyes, and when he takes them off, I’m standing in our first apartment. I imagine the moment when we find our dog at the shelter…a little German shepherd puppy or a little Alaskan malamute nightmare. I imagine the moment when he gets down on his knee to officially ask me to be his forever. I imagine the moment when I brush my finger over my beautiful white dress the morning of my wedding. I imagine him crying as I walk down the aisle (if he doesn’t, I’m going to walk back out and come back in when he’s ready to be emotional about my radiance). I imagine the moment when I tell him that I’m having a little boy with his basketball talent or a little girl who can dance like me. I imagine him holding my hand while I curse him for making me deal with 9 months of discomfort. I imagine him crying when he holds our first baby in his arms (he cries a lot). I imagine him helping me change the little runt while I make breakfast. I imagine him giving me a kiss goodbye as he takes the kids to school. I imagine him making a surprise dinner for me after a hard day of work. I imagine us sending our kids off to college and learning to be enjoy being alone together again. I imagine us yelling at teenagers on our front porch. I imagine us treating our grandchildren to all the best things in the world. I imagine us looking sickly and frail together, and loving each other more than when we were young studs (eyyoo!!)
It’s easy for me to imagine all of this because, at the end of the day, he is my only constant in an extremely chaotic world.
“That one looks like a elephant,” she says, as a warm smile spreads across her beautiful face. I look back at her, my eyes locked deeply into hers, hand in hand, and respond “of course it does, goofball,” chuckling, as she punches my chest. We’re lying on a hill, late summer, near dusk, the sun setting behind the cloudy sky. The colors purple, orange and pink highlight the bottom of the clouds. Wildlife can be seen wrapping up a long summer day. A flock of cardinals glide from the tall, ancient-looking oak tree and disappear into the woods, while a coyote yipping can be heard in the distance, much to the dismay of the mother rabbit and her babies, who scurry to the bushes. We both laugh, for two reasons. First, because we are super excited to witness our first relaxing sunset together, and secondly, we enjoy watching small furry animals scamper away.
This sounds like the conclusion to a perfect day. It has replayed itself in my mind’s eye (sometimes in the most inopportune times, such as during class or even while others are talking) thousands of times. I daydream constantly. I’ve always been creative, and the most important people in my life have always encouraged me to embrace it and let it my mind run wild. Usually these fantasies are inspired by current events, lifelong hobbies or interests or, more so in the last 7 months, a special someone.
Now back to the daydream.
Dusk approaches, her lips find their way onto mine. We enjoy a beautiful kiss. Her lips are so soft and squishy, it’s pretty easy to lose track of time. I open my eyes, and the night sky is filled with millions of stars. The milky way is visible, a shooting star whizzes across the horizon. I am so happy to be here with the love of my life, all I can think about is how out of the whole universe that includes trillions of galaxies that could, for all I know, be home to slimy space creatures, this person was put in my bubble. I couldn’t be happier. Although it would be cool to see a space monster. But I am more than happy with my Olympia, she is unique as can be, and no other human or extraterrestrial life can compare to her. We fall asleep under the stars.